Today I was talking to a friend of mine who’s son has a problem with alcohol and drugs, she was concerned about his mental attitude as he begins the journey toward getting sober. Our conversation took me back about forty years. It was then that I was in the same position as her son, maybe worse, the degree of attidude is not really significant. It is the mental attitude that is the problem. You can have an entire universe of negative stinking thinking, or only one tiny little impulse Either will get you loaded and that’s the real proble, as long as one is, let’s say for the purpose of this conversation, an alcoholic. The reason that I stick with alcoholic is because alcohol is what really did me in. Had I continued to drink, I would surely be dead by now. Or I would have killed myself or an innocent person while driving drunk, and gone to prison for vehicular manslaughter. So prison or a permanant dirt nap were the options; both SUCK.
What has to happen for the alcoholic is the realization that the only option is not to drink today, and that,s the truth. Simple, yes? Nothing could be farther from the real truth. That poor dumb-assed alcoholic is in serious mental and physical pain, the kind of pain that will cause them to risk their own or somebody else’s life just to get that drink; nevermind the pain they cause those around them.
What’s the answer? Well, there is none. The poor soul has to hit bottom where the pain of self hatred is so great that they must admit to themselves and some one else that it’s quit or die. Then the JOURNEY may begin, and Recovery is the process that takes place; fortunately for me, I was one of those that were not too smart, too cool, or too hip, and I just sat down a and listened to those people who shared their experience, strength and hope with me for fun and for free. And the miracle began. One day at a time I was given the Grace (an unearned gift from God) to go home that night and look myself in the mirror eye to eye and say to myself, ” today you are a winner, you did the impossible; you did not drink today”. I did the same day after day; every day that I didn’t drink I was a winner; for the first time in my life I was a winner.
As the days went by I began to learn THE LAWS OF THE UNIVERSE. One day and one step at a time I began to be reborn. The wisdom of the universe became my daily bread. Slowly but surely I was transforming from a negative thinker into a positive thinker, and ultimately, from a loser into a winner! Being a quick study, it only took me 4 years. By 1976, I had made the 12 steps the basis of my core belief system, and everything began to fall into place.
I asked, ”How can I function in my business without my old friend alcohol to give me the strength to go on?” I was told that anything I did while drinking I would do better if I was sober. It was true. As I began to function sober using universal principles and with God as my partner, everything opened up and everything I touched turned to gold. I was making more money than I ever dreamed possible, but more importantly, I was evolving spiritually. This evolution enabled me to transform myself into the hero in my own life. Even the bad experiences in my past I found I was able to use to help other people. It was like the greatest source of instant wisdom and inspiration were opened up to me, and I immediately able to solve problems which would baffle others.
I didn’t claim this as my own personal victory, nor did I think I was so great that my ego told me that I was responsible for my transformation and my ability to help others. I understood — at a gut level — that I was merely a channel for God’s energy (if you don’t believe in God, you can just call it harmonious universal energy.) This energy flowed through me to other people.
Now, 36 years later, I will repeat, I am the person I always wanted to be. I am not perfect, but I am progressing through the ups and downs of life. This miraculous energy enabled me to make the change from a “dead man walking” to a survivor.